Calder Clarion Club Dinner 2011

Tim Moss, Calder’s New ‘Chaplain; heckled by
 John Clayton as Steve Burton makes the award

A successful Annual Club Dinner and Prize Presentation was held at the Holiday Inn, Ossett on Saturday 19th February ably organised by Jean Burton.  Principle prize winners were Paul Lee who took the season series 10 league Sturgess Trophy, Tom Butler (Senior and Vets 10 mile TT and most improved rider), Martin Price (Senior and Vets 25 mile TT), Matthew Dodsworth (Hill Climb), Jim Blankley (Club Person of the year), Steve Burton (Club Runs Award), Ian Lindsey of Sowerby Bro’s CRT (Wakefield Met Award) and Andrew Spittlehouse (2nd in most things). 

        The evening concluded with the Alternative awards presented hilariously by Steve Burton.  Awards in this category went to Martin Price who won a special pair of extremely large and magnified glasses with one lens focused ahead and the other redirecting his eye to the Garmin on his handlebars. Martin is blamed for a number of ‘shutes’ because he’s always looking at his Garmin. ‘Off’s include the recent infamous pile up outside Ackworth Hall.                              
         Septuagenarians George Masson and Jim Blankley were awarded the synchronised swimming award. Their joint prize, ‘Anti Doddering’ pills are to try and prevent a recent occurrence of falls, notably one at Old Snydale when they fell off separately but in formation on an icy corner.
        The Golden Spanner award for most mechanicals went to Matthew Dodsworth. As he went up for his award, there were mutterings of no mudguards on muddy winter bunch rides in wheel rims so thin they are almost translucent and collapsing rear mechs.
        Tom McGhie won a pair of stabilisers for the pot hole that never was. He claimed a huge pothole on a descent near Birstall was responsible for his falling off, but no other rider then or since has been able to find the hole.
        Richard Hancock, who has the habit of texting at the last minute when he cannot make club rides because he’s ‘tied up’, won a pair of pink handcuffs.
       Tim Moss took the major alternative award for his sympathetic ear and ‘soft’ tongue, which everyone who knows him cannot fail to notice. Steve decided because of Tim’s winning ways, he was ideal to provide counselling to those who need a ‘shoulder to cry on’, particularly those who have experience of following Martin Price’s wheel on club runs. His award was a suitable clergyman’s collar and he was announced as Calder’s club chaplain. Despite some disruption to this award by John Clayton who leapt to his feet to heckle, order was restored and Tim was able to continue posing for photographs in his new attire.

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